


Babe>Homie

by akihikoakausagisan



Series: Kuroo & Kenma [16]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Happy Ending, Insecure Kenma, Kuroo loving Kenma so much, M/M, Mutual Pining, Negative Thoughts, Wish You Were Gay, secret feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-04-29
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:15:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23904499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/akihikoakausagisan/pseuds/akihikoakausagisan
Summary: Kenma can’t help but let his emotions flow as he watches Kuroo at lunch one day. He reflects on his feeling towards his best friend, not knowing the other felt the same.Unknowing to him then, he was about to find out later that day how Kuroo truly felt about him.
Relationships: Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Series: Kuroo & Kenma [16]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1029881
Comments: 8
Kudos: 159





	Babe>Homie

**Author's Note:**

> The song to go along with this is “Wish You Were Gay” by Claud! It was the inspiration for this.

Kenma’s day was going okay. Like any other. That is, until a new song popped up in his recommendations when he was at school as he sat in the lunch room. Kuroo sat with him, but was currently talking to a few of his classmates about a group project. He was only a table over, talking to two of the girls who were to help with part of the assignment, but Kenma couldn’t help but continue to sneak glances at them, waiting for Kuroo to come back over.

Then, the song came on. He had never heard it before, and wasn’t paying attention to it until about the middle of the song when the first lyrics of the chorus began to play. 

_“I wish you were gay so you could just hold me, call me your babe instead of your homie.”_

Kenma quickly glanced down at his phone, a sudden panicked feeling in his chest. Then back up at Kuroo, grinning as one of the girls evidently made a joke. Kenma decided he wasn’t hungry anymore. He laid his arms crossed on the table and let his head rest on them. It’s like his phone knew. 

He had realized his feelings for his childhood friend for almost a year now. It didn’t shock him when he realized one night. He had been spending the night at Kuroo’s house after volleyball and had accidentally fallen asleep in Kuroo’s bed while playing video games. He woke up in the middle of the night, a few hours later, and the older boy was laying next to him. One of Kuroo’s arms had been, perhaps on purpose or accidentally, wrapped around Kenma’s waist. The boy had comes to terms that night as he lay with his heart pounding, mind racing, wide awake all night, that there MUST be a reason for the frantic beating in his chest and butterflies in his stomach.

_“I don’t know what to say, but I wish you were gay.”_

As the music played on, he couldn’t help but let his emotions flow freely in his head. Ever since that night a year ago, he had had so many problems. It was torture having to hear girls talk about Kuroo, making up rumors about who he liked and who he wanted to date. Even ones about who Kuroo had slept with or kissed. Of course, Kenma doubted that a single one of the rumors were true, but his anxiety wouldn’t let him forget about them. There had been a time that, overcome with anxious curiosity, Kenma even asked Kuroo if he liked anyone or kissed any girls. To his upset, Kuroo had seemed upset with him, even angry, for thinking about girls and ‘stuff like that.’ He told Kenma he should focus on volleyball, on the team, on them. 

_ ”...and I know that your straight, but I wish you were gay.” _

Yes, Kenma knew Kuroo must be straight. There was no reason to think otherwise. Plus, the blonde once had seen a porn magazine under the teen’s bed. Girls with large breast and curves- pretty much of the opposite of Kenma. He had gone home and cried that night. He cried a lot of nights nowadays. 

The feelings he carried felt like a never-ending weight on his shoulders, crushing him all the time. The only time it ever felt lighter is when he cried. 

He hated his body, his feelings, his emotional insecurity. He wanted to disappear sometimes. He hated how awkward and skinny he was. Sometimes he couldn’t believe how someone as gross and weird as himself could exist. 

However badly he may think of himself sometimes, his thoughts weren’t always like that. Sometimes, he could feel so happy and so good. This usually happened when he was alone with Kuroo. Kuroo made him feel extraordinary. And they were so comfortable with each other sometimes it felt as though Kuroo knew, accepted, and reciprocated his feelings. But these moments were short and didn’t overbear the sad ones.

_ ”I wish you were gay so it could be easy, funny to say that I’m catching feelings.” _

Kenma snapped back to the present had to turn his head so that no one saw the tears pricking at his eyes. 

_”... Hate it that I wish you were...”_

A tear fell to the table and Kenma got up, quickly shuffling past all the other crowded tables and going into the bathroom. 

He went and sat in a stall, door locked as he cried as quiet as he could. His heart felt like it had an ocean pulling it down. He put his head in his hands and let out a shuttered sob that made a small noise of almost panic. He was full on crying now, sobbing out and nose running as the tears flowed. It wasn’t a sad cry, it was almost scared and uncontrollable. He prayed no one would come in. 

In the lunchroom, Kuroo was finally done talking. He made his way back to the table, but saw Kenma was gone. He frowned and looked around, not seeing him anywhere. In the nicest way possible, Kuroo knew Kenma didn’t have any other friends so to speak. There were people he was aquatinted with at their school, but besides the volleyball team, Kenma’s only friend was Kuroo. He didn’t need any others and Kuroo wouldn’t say it but he was glad for this. He wanted Kenma only for himself. He’d known for a long time that he liked Kenma. It didn’t surprise him, it honestly just felt natural, like they were just made for each other. Well, that is, if Kenma felt the same. Kuroo didn’t know if he did or not, but lately he’d begun to grow more and more impatient. 

However, within the past couple months, Kenma had seemed more distant than usual. Of course he was quiet, but he was even more quiet lately. He had begun to “forget” to answer Kuroo’s text, as well as not answering him in complete sentences, or just barely at all when they talked. He makes excuses for spending the night a lot now. He still would every so often, but they used to have sleepovers practically every other day. 

_Was is something I did?_  


Kuroo thought to himself as he left the cafeteria. He began to walk down the hall. As he approached the boys bathroom, suddenly Kenma stepped out of the door leading in. His eyes looked exhausted, and were slightly. His mouth was set in a firm line and his nose was red. Was he crying? 

“Kenma!” He said, his tone was sharper than he’d meant it to be and the pudding head flinched. “Ah- erm, are you okay?” He said, worried now as he deliberately softened his tone. 

Kenma nodded. “Just had to use the restroom.” He said quietly, eyes shifting as he began to walk back to the cafe, Kuroo next to him. 

Kuroo frowned, his eyes fixed on the others face for a moment. He looked like he just was in a screaming match or something. “You sure you’re okay?” He asked again.

“Yes.” The blonde said, a little irritation in his voice.

  
  


Kuroo couldn’t help but keep a frown on his face the rest of the school day. He began to act annoyed when anyone would talk to him as well, giving sharp answers to perfectly reasonable questions. Bad moods did not suit him. 

Luckily, he began to feel better at practice because Kenma looked fine now, like he usually looked. As they began warm-ups, Kuroo couldn’t help but watch the boy as sweat began to form, making his face glisten. His hair was tied back for today’s practice, a little knot at the back of his head as the rest of it fell on his shoulders and back neck.

He looked so cute. Especially when he went to get a drink of water and used both hands to hold his water bottle, his eyes slipping shit before the bottle top left his mouth with a soft ‘pop!’.  


Kuroo felt a strange feeling in his gut at this sight. 

To make matters worse, Kenma decided then to glance over at him. Kuroo quickly looked away. Scowling at himself, he got back to barking orders to his other teammates. 

  
  


Kenma didn’t know why Kuroo had just scowled at him, but he knew his social and emotional capacity for that day was reaching its limit. He really wanted practice to just be done. As he went to do another drill Kuroo’s instructed, he couldn’t look at the raven even though he was standing right next to him. His heart was racing and it wasn’t because of the workout. He wanted to melt, or maybe to blend in with the air around them. He wanted to go to his bed and cry out all these feeling so that the only thing left was a shell of a person who didn’t need to feel this strain, or this pain.

“Kenma-kun? Are you gonna go?” Lev asked behind him. They were doing sliding drill on the floor and had formed a line. “Um...” Kenma began, snapping out of his head. 

“Pay attention.” Kuroo said next to him, his voice not harsh but not soft. Kenma didn’t look over at him but felt a surge of anger at the other. He went to go, and smacked his chin on the ground. Lev winced from behind him. 

“That sounded like it hurt- are you okay Kenma-kun?” 

“I’m fine...” Kenma said, getting up. He had bit his lip on accident as he hit the floor and it began to bleed a little. 

“Woah! Hey, go get a paper towel- you’re bleeding!” Yamamoto said from next to him. Kenma touched it and winced, nodding at his teammate before trotting to the locker room. It was almost the end of practice, so he grabbed his bag along the way to shower and change, thankful for the excuse to leave. 

As they wrapped up with a few laps, Kuroo realized Kenma was not with the group. A bit concerned, he asked Yaku if he knew where the blonde had gone. 

“I saw him go into the locker room already.” Yaku said distractedly as he had been talking something with Lev who was grinning as he ran off around the court. 

Kuroo frowned and wondered why the other was skipping out on the warm down, walkingto the locker room himself. He stepped in and heard the boy in his usually spot on the far side. He could hear a soft noise and couldn’t make out what it was. 

“Hey, Kenma!” He called, marching to wher the other was. The blonde had his back to him. “This is no time to be slacking off. We have a match coming up soon and you need to have a better attitude about practicing whether you like it or-“ but then he realized what the noise was.Kenma was sniffling, and a tiny hiccup just the left his lips. Kuroo stepped forward. “Ken? You okay? I- I didn’t- what’s wrong?” He stuttered out, suddenly feeling guilty. Kenma shook his head and didn’t turn around. 

“Just leave me alone.” He said pitifully. “All you do is...” he trailed off, a little sob escaping him again. “...make it worse.”

“No Ken, I’m not going to leave you here-“

“Why not?!” The other said, suddenly loud now, turning to glare at the other, his eyes red and tears on his cheeks. His normally yellow eyes looked a darker golden color, flashing with anger. Kuroo noticed the cut on his lip and the slightly purple bruise on his chin. “If all you’re going to do is yell at me- what do you even know, Kuroo? Just go away.”

Kenma was sick of it. Sick of Kuroo controlling him, taking over him, giving him orders, making his heart yearn hopelessly.

Kuroo was frowning and his messy hair looked more frantic than usual. His brows were furrowed and he reached out to take one of the others hands in his own. Kenma did not draw away. His hair was wet from the shower he had just taken and it dripped down onto their hands. 

Kenma was looking down and his tears had slowly stopped. Kuroo felt it was probably okay to speak, so he slowly said, “...What happened to your lip?” 

“I fell doing drills.” Kenma said quietly. Rather than angry he now seemed more hopeless and sorrowful. 

A moment passed. 

“What’s wrong? You haven’t been yourself lately.” Kuroo said softly, pulling the other into a hug so that Kenma’s face was resting against Kuroo’s shoulder. 

Kenma let himself be wrapped up by Kuroo, and he brought his own arms who wrap around Kuroo’s neck. His heart was racing and his breath quickened. He loved this feeling of being close to the raven. If he thought and tried hard, he could even make this moment feel sweet and happy. However, the reality came back quickly and another few tears fell from his eyes, landing on the warmth that was Kuroo’s shoulder. 

He felt Kuroo tense, then a second later squeeze him tighter. After another minute of silence and a few more flaking tears, Kuroo pulled his friend back far enough that he could see his face. “Is there anything I can do?” He said, eyes full of concern. 

Kenma felt sick at this. He was so nice and gentle. Always. 

“I-I’m sorry Kuro.” Kenma hiccuped out. “I can’t... not anymore...” he said, eyes unable to meet the others. 

He couldn’t bear these secret feelings anymore. 

“Kuroo I- I think....” he couldn’t look up into those eyes which were still full of concern. “I think I’m gay.” He said meekly. Kuroo was stunned for a second and didn’t say anything.  


“And I....” the blonde continued, his watery eyes finally now meeting the dark ones. But Kuroo cut in, as he could feel Kenma’s heart racing just as fast as his own. He was finally about to say something he had wanted to say for a very long time. 

“I know, I know,” he smiled brightly now, “I like you too. I have for a long time.” 

Kuroo watched as Kenma’s eyes got big, his pupils betraying him by dilating. Relief seemed to surround both of them. The blonde was dumbfounded.

“I- oh...” he started. He couldn’t even find words. Was this a dream? Did Kuroo really like him the same? His heart wanted to soar but was almost too shocked.  


Then there was something warm against him that made his stomach leap, taking his heart with it. 

Kuroo had gone for it, letting his eyes close to subdue his nervousness some as he pressed his mouth against Kenma’s. Hewas praying the other would kiss back and that he was correct in his assumption that the other liked him too. After a couple agonizing seconds, he was realized beyond all measures as Kenma began to move slowly with him before both pulled away again. 

Kenma’s lips were turned in a shy smile as he let a hand press against Kuroo’s chest, feeling his heart in his fingertips. Kuroo was still trying to pull himself together before he focused back in on the small blonde in his lap. He admired the way his soft blonde hair fell to cover his cheek slightly as his head was tipped slightly to the side. He was adorable and beautiful all at the same time.

Kuroo grinned. “You’re beautiful.” He said in earnest, pushing the hair back behind Kenma’s ear. Kenma flushed, his eyes no longer red and full of sadness. 

“K-Kuroo...” he couldn’t help the stutter. “Does this mean you... we are...”

“Going out?” Kenma nodded. “Well, no.” Kuroo said. The blonde’s hopeful heart fell.

“Well, that is, not until I officially ask you.” He said before getting up, gently allowing Kenma to slide off his lap onto the bench. He stood, his face serious as he put his hands to his sides and then, suddenly, thrust his upper body down in a bow. 

“Go out with me!” He said in a shout of a question.  


Kenma couldn’t help but laugh, a laugh of relief and amusement.

He stood up and ruffles the messy black hair before smiling. “Okay.” He said softly.

Kuroo stood back upright again, his usual grin on his lips. Kenma smiled back softly before throwing his arms around the taller boy, squeezing him. He was sure now.

This definitely wasn’t a dream.


End file.
